"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
