I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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