actually, I'm a sock model
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
