can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We just shotgunned beers for America
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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