how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
