Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
sarcasm needs its own font
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
