You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
