She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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