so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
