I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
