I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
