Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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