i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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