I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
