yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
