i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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