grandma shit on top of the toilet
I cut my penus on the lid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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