I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
