yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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