remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
