Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
