So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Be still, my beating vagina.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
