Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
not ubering you a puppy
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
