"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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