we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
did i just pee glitter
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
