No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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