I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
