He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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