i permit you to call me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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