You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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