Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
