OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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