Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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