thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
