p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
