I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
