I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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