Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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