how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
