This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
