I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize