and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
