why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
