fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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