Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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