I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
