Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
