is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
