My pussy is not your playground.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
