god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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